Code of Conduct

The Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said, “The believer is not stung twice from the same hole.”

I am responsible for my own behaviour and not others. I will face the consequences of my actions and decisions, in this life and the next. I have prayed istikharah, prayed hajat, supplicated, sought counselling for myself, attempted many times and in different ways to get this to work, sought advice from my parents and friends, changed the way I interacted, talked about it, wrote about it, made plans for it, left it to him to make plans for it, and after all of these, and others, my heart has settled on this course of action.

I am aware that things may change at anytime. I leave room for my heart to turn another way. I hold out hope for Allah to change my circumstances and surprise me.

This was not a decision made over a moment, a day, a week, or even a month. This is the culmination of all that has transpired for almost 3 years, including the counselling, the prayers, the advices and everything in between.

All I am expected to do right now is continue to be kind and gracious and still be firm. I am not a person of revenge and I continue to make prayers every single day for the best possible outcome. I do not ask for revenge, hardship, or even for Allah to “teach anyone a lesson”. That is not what I’m asking for. I ask Allah to change all hardship to ease, remove any ill-will or resentment, and to purify my heart, and protect my tongue. Mercy, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, respect, honesty are still the things I try to uphold in my dealings with whoever is involved.

But I will not be bullied, manipulated, taken advantage of, emotionally blackmailed, spiritually-bypassed and anything in the same vein. If anyone is going to say something untrue or intentionally hurtful in this time, I will call it out and stand my ground.

I am also deserving of mercy, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, respect and honesty.