Waiting for the storm to settle

Yesterday, while having lunch alone, 3 kids ran in the restaurant and shouted “Atok!!!” while their Atok who was with his wife and other kids turned around in his chair with his arms open, the 3 kids crashing into him and each other.

For goodness’ sake, my eyes teared as if on cue. Atok’s face was one of pure joy and a searing emptiness in my heart felt more pronounced. I’ve mentioned this to my best friends before and here it is for public consumption: I wish “grandchildren” was something I could purchase somewhere or give my parents as if it was in my control. It’s not. And it is an ongoing process of comforting them when I myself am in need of comfort, being careful to not dismiss their yearnings but still letting them know I literally cannot birth a child on demand. (I know, you’d think they would also know this.)

Anyhow, today I got some mountain views (they are my absolute fav), attended a great workshop for work, watched the rain, read some poetry, had a hot bowl of assam laksa and am in bed by 9pm as I type this.

Every work trip, I try to make some intentions. Some of them are repeats: I intend for this trip to be beneficial for me and my work, I intend to meet awliya Allah etc etc.

This trip, I also intend that it be a clarifying, healing one and where I reconnect with my heart, because that’s where the answer(s) already are.

As always, I ask for clarity, for peace and for strength.